A very facial difference - the things we don’t talk about easily.

‍

It all started quite unobtrusively with a visit to the dentist at the end of 2021 and a tiny“ bubble” I had noticed on my upper cheek adjoining the gum line. The dentist took a little more notice and referred me immediately to a Maxillo Facial consultant at East Surrey hospital. The first visit was fairly casual, an examination, a planned ultrasound and biopsy, now moved to the Royal Surrey in Guildford. The biopsy result arrived soon after and a meeting with the consultant followed to discuss an operation. The tumour was removed and diagnosed as Adenocarcinoma. Pathology results showed a link to breast cancer, so off I trotted to the Breast Consultant. Not so much fun for a mature woman, no matter how attractive the Consultant is! Several breast biopsies followed as well as MRI, PET and CT scans. However … there appeared to be no obvious culprit as the primary source of the cancer. Hooray, I thought, it’s over! We planned and went on extensive holidays in the summer of 2022 and 2023 and I felt very well throughout. I celebrated a little prematurely. Later in 2023, I was once again back with yet another facials welling and another lump in my mouth. This time the scan was swift, no biopsy and a full removal of my Parotid gland and two further tumours located over and under the cheek bone. The operation was my not-so-joyful introduction to New Year 2024. Subsequent consultant checks following the Parotidectomy were peppered with comments like “please be patient” and “this can take a year to 18 months to fully heal”. The consultants are excellent and their care is exemplary, however they are the “plumbers” who do the work, not much consideration is given to a patient (and particularly women) who experience this fairly life changing surgery. At that point, not being referred as yet to Oncology, there was no psychological support from the hospital. The full impact of the Parotidectomy is that my facial muscles on one side of my face do not obey instruction. I have a lot of scar tissue inside my mouth. My eye has never recovered and the Ophthalmologist tells me it never will, so my new spectacles are shaded and I wear sunglasses - a lot! A year later the muscles in my face are slowly coming to life, however my speech is affected and I don’t feel that it will ever be normal again. Nothing prepared me for the psychological impact this would have on my life. There were further exhaustive tests from April to July 2024, where I was probed and scanned to the nth degree. The result? I was told (smilingly and with a kind tone) that the Multi Disciplinary Team at the hospital now considered me a “medical conundrum” as the primary cancer stubbornly remained hidden. Finally in September 2024 I was referred to the Oncology team for Cancer of an Unknown Primary and began Chemotherapy immediately. This is currently still a part of my weekly life. Following an interim scan, there has been discussion of a plan to remove the shrunken tumours and lymph nodes and lifetime monitoring by my Oncologist. I remind myself (daily); “Chin up, there is always someone out there worse off than you”. I plan ahead and keep moving! There are flashes of beautiful light - we are planning holidays this year, as and when treatments will allow. Writing, reading, gardening and crochet keep me busy. My family and friends are a constant support, by phone, video calls and visits. Hearing about The Olive Tree and meeting the wonderful team in Crawley, they have been incredibly supportive and I cannot thank them enough for the advice, treatments and sessions. I hope by sharing this experience that readers will know: you are not alone.

^{Jennifer Millard - January 2025}